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Seasons greetings: Politically correct and politically incorrect versions December 25, 2006

Posted by Ulver in Conspiracies, Life as Bill.
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Seasons greetings: Politically correct and politically incorrect versions

We wish you Seasons greetings!

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Politically correct version of seasons greetings:

Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza

Sorry for the delay…my Legal Council just approved the following Holiday Greeting:

To All My Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.
This message does not advocate the exploitation of non-union working class elves, or other handicapped persons. This message is respectful to the rights of reindeer and other animals, and not advocate the use of fur.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

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Politically incorrect seasons greetings:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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